Each Friday for 5 weeks we are posting the top 5 entries in our “Vision Contest.” Readers can cast their vote for the People’s Choice Award from August 29th – September 4, 2014. These week’s entry is Opened Eyes by Charlotte Dorais.
The suddenness of her death was mind numbing. Empty eyes, that’s what I remember. The life that sparkled and drew you in was gone. I wonder if I hadn’t looked into that emptiness would I believe she was gone. Suddenly unsuspectingly she escaped my grasp and flew to only God knows where. That shell with the empty eyes wasn’t my Sally. Where were the final words of love, the last caress, a touch of her warm hand?
Family and friends came and tried to console me. The celebration of her life was a great time of busyness and reminiscing, which almost had me believing it was all a bad dream. Ah but when the day was over and the evidence of the company cleared away , the reality of her passing hung heavy and dark upon me.
Thoughts lost in selfishness circled and ebbed and flowed within my mind. My cleric focused thinking was disrupted and replaced by worry and guilt. Why hadn’t I insisted on putting off the trip when Sally spoke of not feeling well? My conscience spoke to me of my apathy. My “should haves” battled for preeminence, no amount of justification on my part could rid me of the guilt or the worry of being discovered.
Emily has Sally’s dark gentle loving eyes and they haunt me each time she visit. Our father daughter relationship deepened after Sally’s death. She had strength to continue and move on and I depended on her to keep me rooted in the present. I tried to tell her of my guilt and worry. She listened but her grief wouldn’t let her blame me then. It’s been three years and our conversations are strained at times. Has her vision of me changed? How I long for the release from my guilt but no victory comes.
Emily’s visit left me speechless but filled with hope. Who was this warm compassionate women. She knew my heart and somehow had recognized my guilt and worry and erased it with words of wisdom and knowledge unknown to me. She was so changed so alive and vibrant now. Empathy replaced her grief. She left me with a book and asked me to read it.
Emily’s transformation intrigued me. Gone was the hardness the no nonsense approach she had. Now her face glowed with light and joy. The words she spoke rung of truth, hope and peace. I needed new vision and opened the book, “In the beginning was the Word,” my journey begun, would take a life time to complete.
Reader’s Choice Voting will be open from August 29th – September 5th. The entry with the most votes will win the contest.